Papaya: What’s Wrong With You People?
Don’t read this if you love that fruit.
It’s a global conspiracy. We’ve been so manipulated to love that fruit that we can’t see its true colors. But I’m ready to let the world know.
It All Started in Cuba
It was our treat. We deserved it. We had a crazy year in the office. We were exhausted and stressed out. Organizing events is not easy. No matter how beautiful the job is, it can suck all your energy.
Working in a travel agency can have some benefits, like finding great deals with good discounts for us. We weren’t precisely travel agents, but we could use some of their good stuff. We didn’t think about it twice when we found this all-included week in Cuba.
I usually despise that kind of traveling, but this time, a worry-free, all-planned-for-us-in-advance trip sounded like heaven.
A relaxing trip
We couldn’t be more excited about our holiday. I can’t stress enough how tired we were after that crazy year. We arrived at the airport on time, had our matching hats (I know, we were four girls in full tourist mode), and… the flight was delayed for around 10 hours.
Anyway, nothing could diminish our good mood. We were about to start a great adventure! 🥳🥳🥳
As we approached Havana, the weather started getting worse. The captain said there was a small storm.
Well, he probably didn’t know that all the seats had a screen with the flight information. The tailwind was 100km/hr (62mph). What was the wind scale for a hurricane again?
He tried to land, we almost crashed. He could take off in the air again when we were at the height of the control tower. Some people were screaming, others were crying, and others prayed.
My friends and I chose dark humor and started laughing hysterically. Well, this was a complete Spa treatment. All my previous job stress just vanished.
The small storm was Hurricane Katrina, although nobody knew it yet.
We flew to Varadero, where they promised us we would return to Havana once the storm had passed. There was a riot. Passengers refused to remain in that plane anymore. So we had to wait at the terminal.
There wasn’t enough water or food for so many passengers at the terminal, so they closed the stores and left. The crew also left us there for the whole night.
The following day, a car took us to our hotel. There, we saw a couple of passengers enjoying their breakfast with a relaxed expression. They were shocked by our appearance.
They dared to say: We don’t understand why people would hire cheap options, we booked with the best agency in Spain. They sent a car to pick us up last night.
It was the travel agency where we worked. I had to stop my boss from jumping to bite their necks.
Our first night out
The world is much better after a good shower, breakfast, and siesta. No one could spoil our well-deserved relaxing holiday!
We went into an almost empty bar, ordered some mojitos, and soon, we were dancing. Lots of people joined the party. We were in Cubaaaa!!!
One of my friends spotted something suspicious. A guy was ordering a drink while pointing at us, but no, it wasn’t to invite us. It was for him. She ran to the barman to pay our tab and make sure there was nothing weird happening.
That’s when we discovered that everyone had been charging the drinks on us.
We refused to pay, but the before-smiley Cuban became a little less friendly while the bar emptied in less than a minute. We got afraid and paid.
Yes. Our first day started with a night at an empty airport with Katrina, and the second we were scammed. Ouch!
Luxury breakfast
Our ego was hurt, but hey, we were in Cuba! The best thing we could do was enjoy a lovely buffet for breakfast. They even had a mix of tropical fruits already peeled and ready to eat, yummy!
Sooo delicious and refreshing! Pinneaple, mango, banana, and… what is this orange thing? *spitting it out* it tastes like feet!
I tried another bite. It was just awful. It was probably off. I told my friends not to try it just in case. We didn’t want to add food-poisoning to our trip (it happened two days later 🙄)
Another day, the same selection of fruits, same situation. I didn’t know what was wrong with that fruit that tasted warm even though it was cold and had a flavor that resembled something fermented, like cheese or smelly feet.
I didn’t know what it was. I just knew that I didn’t like it. At all.
The rest of the trip was fantastic. Apart from another 12-hour delay at the airport while our suitcases were abandoned in the open air under tropical rain, we had no more incidents on our relaxing trip.
I forgot about that awful orange thing.
Backpacking South America
Eight years later, my dream came true. My boyfriend and I left everything to backpack around the world for a year. It was the best experience ever.
Fruits in Colombia are to die for. We went to the market and grabbed a selection, while the perfume of those fruits intoxicated us. Breakfast was going to be glorious.
It was my first time with some fruits, including the famous papaya. Shame on me! Such a popular and healthy fruit, and I never had the opportunity to try it.
First bite. Silence. Disgust. The fruit is off.
But it’s not! It looks good, has a good texture, it doesn’t look rotten. Why does it taste like cheese?
I asked some people to try it, and they all agreed it was fine. I tried again. Same disgust. What’s wrong with me???
And then it hit me. I was in Cuba again. That was the fruit. I had tried it in the past and didn’t like it. And no, it wasn’t a kind of Pavlov experiment where I was relating the fruit to my bad experiences in Cuba. I just found the flavor awful.
The True Color of Papaya
Alright, I know it’s beautiful, with a buttery texture, bright, shiny colors, and a very exotic flavor, but the flavor! Why would you do that to yourself?
It took me time to find an accurate adjective for its taste. And one day, it got me. It was vomit.
There, I said it.
I googled it, and there it was, more than 8 million results of people agreeing with me. Apparently, papayas have a very beneficial enzyme called papain, very similar to our own digestive enzymes, which flavor we only taste when we get sick.
I promise I tried. I even tried eating it while pinching my nose to get the beneficial properties and not the taste. But it only got worse. Do you know these beautiful papaya shampoos? Even when I smell those, the back smell would be the sick. Don’t get me started with the eau de toilette.
So, no, papaya and I had to go our separate ways, and I honestly feel sorry. I wish I had liked it, and I wish I had known this, but I do.
And I’m genuinely sorry to have discovered this for you. After I tell my story with papaya, 90% of people find the same flavor I do. I’m very surprised they didn’t find out before.
Disclaimer: I hope you don’t hate me too much for this. You were told not to read this in the title.
Sorry for ruining this awful fruit for you.
Miss-Consistently yours,
Carmen
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